another stream of consciousness
today is another day where i failed to adjust my sleep schedule properly. i mentioned in another post that i had to sleep at 12am and wake up at 7am, which i think is an okay time to sleep, but my body prolly thinks otherwise cuz it has cursed me with sleepiness after the camp. so i now know that i have to sleep more than 7 hours. but also i'm a night person, i study the most in 10:30pm~12am. additionally i get very very stressed if i do not wake up early, plus being waken up by my alarm before anyone else has waken up reminds me of the camp and makes me do all the good habits that i used to do at camp. if my body (i currently do not know what exactly they are fine with1) does not get the sleep they want, i become sleepy during the day, and an hour long nap does make it better but the last time i did that i couldn't sleep until 2am and i was so stressed. so yea i am currently experimenting with how much sleep at which time does not make my body angry and helps me study.
the last time i slept, i went to sleep yesterday at 11:30pm and woke up today at 7:30am by an alarm, and despite being 8 hours i am sleepy right now!!! why??? because of that i couldn't focus on my math in the morning! yesterday i was totally fine, i slept from 11pm-ish to 8am without an alarm. the day before that i was also fine and i slept from 11:40pm to 8am?? (it was before 8:30). so my body prefers a 9 hour sleep. but in early 2025, i was still sleepy with a 10 hour sleep during vacation and was totally fine with a 7~8 hour sleep during the school year. and then i became sleepy again. what the heck is wrong with my body???
after writing this i am still sleepy. i think i will post smth that i wrote for myself on my paper notebook, it has a lot of personal info so i will have to find a way to not give out personal info while not deleting half of the writing. i've always thought abt it but blogging takes time, especially when you don't write about funny things that only matter for 3 hours but things that impact your life and society that you thought through. also how do you form your opinion and write while doing research, not being sunk in the vast sea of information. like sometimes when i write my goal is to just get my opinion and reasoning across and not be distracted, so i write everything from my brain. that is how i write most of my blog posts, emails, other informal writings. but most of the time i do not know things properly so i need to do research but then i end up finding nothing that i can use and my eyes are just hurt without any progress. but because i didn't do my research i think i misinformed a human and i feel like clarifying except i have not finished my research and there are more important things to do than reading the namuwiki article for 정시 대 수시 논란.
'they' because i regard my body as animate. these days i really like animizing random inanimate things and kinda animate things by using 'they' or '걔'↩