goodbye to my math hakwon (i hope)

2025-08-28

man, i don't know which language i want to express my thoughts using, but it's not toki pona for sure. especially since this is a math hakwon related topic and i struggle to write about my math hakwon in toki pona. i guess i also do with some words in english, but my mind is thinking in english right now so i think i'll write this in english. also my eink tablet is acting weird ughhh.

anyways, i got my mom's permission to not go to math¹ today and finally i'm freed from the bullshit² of solving 180 easy questions on grade level for the stupid excuse of preparing for standardized tests. sorry but in our school the midterm is in october??? and it's not even september? yeah this whole thing was real inefficient. there are kids from multiple schools in our class, and every one of them has a different midterm period, ranging from early september to late november. and they make us solve heaps of questions during that whole period. my hakwon is mild and only has us solve about 100 questions per day, most others go crazier. i will quote³ my math teacher from school.

"many hakwons say they're going to prepare you for tests. however, all they do is throw you an intolerable amount of questions to increase the chance of guessing what will be on the test. this is good for hakwons who only care about their students' grades. however, this is way too time-consuming for students who have to study other subjects and do other things besides just studying."

i will also quote my science teacher:

"maybe you do need to solve a bunch of questions with math, but not science. to prepare for middle school tests, all you need is a textbook and the ability to listen carefully to teachers. not hakwons, not studying ahead of your grade, not 족보닷컴 or private lessons. just memorize the basic principles and why things are the way they are."

to summarize, you don't need to cling to hakwons or overprepare. just stick to what's important. study efficiently. value quality over quantity.

unfortunately, most hakwons value quantity over quality. do your homework. get a good score on your daily test. get things done fast.⁴ listening to video clips, rereading the textbook, or taking notes to understand what in the world you're learning? yeah, you can do that, if you have time. if you don't, well it's your fault you have poor time management! if you don't do homework, though, you're a failure. most parents (thankfully not mine) freak out about that and stress their kid out for being irresponsible. even worse, they confiscate their phone, their friends and their free time and control the kid. for the students who do their homework in time, are in the top class, and learn that high school level thing in 6th grade, hakwons tell them the biggest thing that matters is doing what their teacher told them to do, reaching class 1, class A, class S, whatever they call their top level, and showing off how smart they are by how far ahead they are in the curriculum. the school test scores aren't important, until you ruin your first test, but then that doesn't matter because apparently the Test Preparation Program™ will help you improve your scores and go to Seoul University! everything else? doesn't matter!

oh right i was talking about me, not other people. so here's the specific reasons i wanted to quit math:

• the quality vs. quantity thing i mentioned earlier. i want to understand the content, not blindly solve questions, get chased by deadlines (and suffer the consequences if you miss them), and still get praised for doing that 11th grade level thing when every one else is at 9th though you barely remember 8th. i thought this hakwon explained basic concepts well (it does compared to the last one, which destroyed me for two years) and it's because right after the teacher goes over them and the main questions in the textbook, i have to solve them right away so i need to focus. however that's the literal same way as my last hakwon which made it hard for me to catch up. also the homework deadline > actually understanding stuff thing.
• not reviewing or going for the harder questions⁵ - this is important to me but it's emphasized more to my parents because they care for the concrete stuff obviously, even i don't understand what's going on for the above argument

also, my mom asked if i'll actually be better off without the hakwon, to translate will i instantly start studying math more efficiently than i did last time without the hakwon. my first reaction is, please note that i am just starting to learn how to study alone and therefore i will suck at first. yes, hakwon will keep me 'productive', but will i learn anything? or will i just end up hating math and school? i want to learn how to study alone without being pressured from random people saying 'oh you want to go to X school/university? well you'll have to learn till X grade level by middle school' also as two parents of HAFS students have said, "my kid learned till 미적분1 and did 공수1 심화⁶ before going into high school, but i'd recommend just doing 공수1 and 공수2, just make sure you understand all the content. question why things work that way, and do your own research. that's what matters, not how far you go."

however, i see why my mom is concerned with me because reality is a thing. so here's my reflections on last time i quit hakwon:

• i tried egrit, an app with courses fit for a particular brand of math textbooks (the same one as my last hakwon) and a little bit of gamification stuff. it worked pretty well since 1. i like using digital devices 2. there was this group study thing that motivated me 3. each question would come with a video clip that showed how to solve the problem and how other people solved the problem and 4. i could study a well made curriculum at my own speed. but then my eyes broke so i just used regular textbooks. that's when my schedule started to crumble.
  • this time, i have an eink tab that puts less strain on my eyes so my eyes won't break as easily, almost the same as a paper book. egrit isn't available for my tablet, so i decided to use 수학대왕 which might be better. there are a couple reasons that i'm too lazy to say here.
• not knowing when to start and end my work. i quit hakwon when vacation started and i didn't have a good schedule, so i procrastinated a lot.⁷ after that continued i basically gave up and did nothing, occasionally making plans that never went into action.
  • this time, i have a plan that mentions when i'll study math (and everything else) which isn't overcomplicated and has blank spaces where i can either rest, evaluate my time, or do things i couldn't do. it also says the steps how i'll study math. if the plan fails, i'll keep on solving ai recommended questions in the 수학대왕 app so i do something and trick both me and my mom into thinking i'm being productive. in the meantime, i can learn what went wrong and make a new plan.
• focus. the biggest problem of all. in hakwon. i'm forced to do stuff, but i can stay in bed or scroll social media anytime at home.
  • i'll go to the library if neccessary and use Forest on my phone to keep myself from using it. i'll also use some app blockers on my tablet. this might not increase my focus compared to the hakwon, but it's gonna be similar i guess.
• losing the purpose of studying. in hakwon my purpose was only not dying (metaphorically), but by studying at home i'll need a purpose that's actually relevant to my future and interests.

so yeah, leaving everything else to future me! i hope you're happy, mom and inner critic!

i don't know what the point of this post was, so i'mma end with the quote that has caused annoyance and misunderstanding to my friends.

"so you hate math. i don't like or hate math, but i hate society's pressure for me to be good at math at all times."

i hope i never step foot in a math hakwon again.

to impress my mom, i'll be solving math problems on the 수학대왕 app today.

update 2025-09-01: i guess i'll write some funny quotes by my math hakwon humans to remember them.

"so belgium is in germany, right?"

"wait no, sweden used to be switzerland, but it changed its name! it's like joseon becoming hanguk! (teacher says they're completely different lands with different origins) no they're the same, both somewhere in northern europe!"

"geneva and brussels are in germany, wait is geneva a country? is switzerland in geneva or the other way around? is switzerland is germany?" (these were all by the same person. according to this kid europe is just germany)

"when was the UN founded? 1991? (someone: no it's 1931! me: 1945 proabably, they made it right after ww2 to prevent more wars) oh then it stands for united states, right? (me: no united nations!) wait then it's 연합된 자연? that doesn't make sense. (me: not nature, nations!) ohh, like national? united national?)

update 2025-09-03: for anyone wondering, yes i do know that 학원 is romanized as hagwon since it's pronounced [하권]. however, imma write it as hakwon and nobody can stop me. :þ

#education #english #hakwon #kokosila #school